I am a baby. A loser. Weenie. Freak. Weirdo. Scardy cat. Whatever. That is who I am.
So here is how I almost died today (or perhaps will die later tonight).
I am home alone for the week. My parents are on the west coast and I am staying at their house to take care of our cats.
Its late and I went outside into our garage to take out the trash. However this morning our lightbulb in our garage blew out. Since it would have been pitch black and I can’t walk in the dark without hurting myself, I turned the house light in the driveway on and I left the door open. As I turned around to walk back in, I saw a ginormous spider on our doorframe. LIke tarantula size. It wasn’t actually a tarantula but it looked about the size of my fist.
Panicing, I slammed the door shut but forgot to walk inside. And then I ran away.
So there I am in shorts and a t shirt. No shoes. No keys. No phone. No help. Not even my cats by my side. All the other doors at my house were locked so I had no way of getting inside without a key. Then I remembered where we hid the spare key to our front door. But thats in front of the house. Where its surrounded by woods and completely dark.
But THEN i remembered I had a flashlight in my car. So I got that, went around to the front, got attacked by mosquitoes, got the key, and walked up to the door.
And THEN, ANOTHER SPIDER was just hanging out on the door knob. He was just a little guy so I able to just throw a rock at it and went away. But somehow I managed to get back inside my house and have a panic attack. Ive never been so scared in my life. Well maybe I have but i hate spiders so much and I was alone and grossed out.
The second I ran inside I took off my clothes and called my mommy. My dad joined in on the convo and suggested I run out of the house and run to the nearest police station. My boyfriend suggested I burn the house down. I think I might do both.
So now here I am blogging about it because I have no life and I am a loser but it feels better to vent about it I guess.
I’m going to take a steam bath now. And then watch Lost, have some alcohol, maybe throw up, and then cry myself to sleep.